Food Names

I like to create new food names for common items just to have weird words to say. I don't think I would have ever thought about it until I heard my brother in law went out to eat at applebees as asked for the Fajitas (saying it as FAH-JITE-TAHS). I laughed and laughed then forgot about it. Then I saw Napolean Dynamite where grandma tells the kids to make themselves a dang casadilla (CASE-A-DILL-LAH).
Again I laughed and laughed then forgot about it. Well it was probably about the time that my son started calling everything his own names that I thought to myself it would be kind of nice if I just called things what I wanted to as well. For example he calls bananas NO-NOs because he never wants to eat one. I now call the laxatives no-nos. Yes I know plagerism of a one year old is low but at least I am helping his work get recognized in some form or another.
I have found the funnest things to rename tends to be mexican food.
Although you might not like how I would say things I will leave you up to make up your own to add to the list.
My first is chips and salsa every time I go out to eat and they sit us down they have to say let me get your chips and salsa. I like to call it Hips N Sal now it sounds so much more provocative.
Or if you are at the house and you have mixed some salsa and cheese it seems so much easier to say pass the seese please.
A quicker way to tell whether someone bought you a soft taco or a crunchy taco is to call them sochos and crotchos. I know most people prefer a socho to a crotcho.
My sister invited me over to her house for our families to hang out. She said she wanted to make some Nachos. I told her our family only eats Snachos. She said what are snachos to which I explained they are snack size nachos. She then proceeded to ask what the difference between nachos and snachos is. I told her the major difference is when you have nachos you are eating a meal that you probably don't want to be eating talking about family stuff. When you are eating snachos they are always the perfect size to satisfy your snacking needs and usually hit the spot with just the right amount. Plus snachos can go mobile so you can't get in trouble for taking your dinner into the living room.
Also if someone makes you a casadilla I expect it to not be cut up. If they cut it up I expect them to call it a cusadilla so I know it is precut. Because when my wife makes me a quick casadilla and doesn't have time to cut it up she gives me a casafork so I can cut it up with a fork at my convenience. When she has more time she makes me cusadilla, letting me know she had the time to precut it for me making the eating experience that much simpler.
The hardest part about these is when she adds beef or chicken into the mix then there are four different types of things you can have. The Chicasa or the chicusa, the Beecasa or the beecusa. Don't even get me started about what happens when she puts things on the side like sour cream or guacamole then it really is like we are speaking our own language.
I remember one time we were out at dinner basking in our perfect system talking about how we didn't know what was better to have after the Hips N Sal, the snatchos or the crotchos. Another couple obvious mistook out lingo for swingers and asks if we had plans for the rest of the evening. They obviously wouldn't have been able to keep up with us when they didn't even catch the insult I made saying I didn't like stalaco and my wife doesn't like tasmalles. They just laughed talked to us like we were foreigners and said if you don't have anything come by our room and left a hotel key.
I felt kind of bad for them that they couldn't have as much fun with each other that my wife and I had so we decided we should find someone to go keep them company. My wife went into a strip club and right after one of the girls was done dancing she got up on stage and said I happen to have a key to Bambi's room who wants to be her thumper for the night it goes to the highest bidder.
I think the $1500 we got was definitely the highlight of the night, I just hope the guy that was dumb enough to buy it was pretty plastered when he showed up. I know I would have definitely felt like I was screwed over if I showed up to find an older couple that looked like they could have starred in the golden girls. I just hope the first question he asked wasn't which one of you is Bambi?