Dang Electric Carts

You know I still can't figure out what it is about those dang electric carts, but everytime I go to a particuliar store I end up driving around in them just to annoy people.
Its not like I am also stealing a handicap parking place, but when I go into the store and they have an ample supply of overabundance of red electric shopping carts, I figure why not enjoy the ride through their 12 acres of economically priced foreign goods.
There are three main points I must make about letting the good times roll.
First of all they have a horn on them. So if anyone gets in your way you let them know that you don't have to sit there and take it, well not literally sit there and take it. I like it when I honk at someone to move there cart and they don't seem rush over immediately to move it. I get out of the chair and walk over and push their cart out of the middle of the aisle. I used to just ram them but I didn't get the reaction I wanted from people. When you ram their cart they normally just call you a jerk or a potty word. When you honk and they say just a sec and you get up and move it then drive past they think hey why is someone that is perfectly capable driving one of those? or well if he gets to I better do it as well. I have also found that when you honk and wake up some ladies 9 month old the livid look on her face is priceless. Its like she want to call you a lovely lint linker (thanks orbit gum), but still just wants to drop her baby, tackle and strangle you to death. I unfortunately find this side of women so attractive too. When you know they have nothing but disgust for you suddenly you want them.
Second thing that is great about it is it makes picking up women all that much funner. You can start up a conversation somewhat like the Joker did in Batman, "You know how I got these scars . . ." It is an easy conversation starter and its funny. Hey how are you doing? I really like your american t-shirt. She replies oh thanks and then you cater to what you think she wants to hear, I actually was serving over there in the war until I got shot a couple times, I think I feel even more patriotic now then ever that I got to fight for such a great country you know? and most of the time they are a sucker like wow this guy is already talking about his feelings with me, he is either the one I have been searching for my whole life or the one that is going to love my brother Stuart!
Lastly it is always great to get people to do your work for you I love to pull up by someone that obviously looks disgusted seeing me coming up the row and then asking them if they can help me out. I say oh can you grab me that can of coconut milk for me on the top shelf. So they of course go to grab the closest one that they see first then right about when they hand it too you you just say oh no not this one the other one so they look a little bewildered and usually just grab another brand then you say again right about when they hand it too you no the other one to the left where there are still 6 more kinds of it and let them guess and if you are nice you take it from them, but if you want to be mean you say on second thought maybe I will just try the kind you got me the first time. This really frustrates them. Then start making ackward conversation about something in their basket, monistat 3 huh? I remeber the first time I had a yeast infection. . .